After quitting my corporate job, and a successful career of nearly 10 years in events, marketing, media and company culture, you could say that I’ve been going through a BIG life transition (to say the least)!
Transitions are hard, no matter if you are going through a break-up, a move to a new city, or beginning or ending a new job.
But the important thing in all of these situations is that you prioritize your self care.
So, to help you along, I’ve put together “10 Radiant Self Care Musts for a BIG Life Transition.” As a Radiant Self Care Coach, I’ve been putting into practice the techniques and tricks I’ve developed over the years to help me during this time of massive upheaval and transformation!
I hope they help you too. Here they are…
1. Establish an anchor
Familiarity of routine creates ease in the brain. When we are going through change, things are uncertain, undefined and unfamiliar. Creating an anchor, something that you can be guaranteed will be there for you each day, helps create safety and release anxiety. For me, this has been yoga. While staying in San Francisco for a month of #RadiantFreedom (following my exit from Corporate America), I got a one-month membership to a yoga studio. Just the walk to the studio each day provided a feeling of peace, something I could count on each day, even in the midst of the chaos of change. What can be your anchor?
On my way to daily yoga in San Francisco
2. Be gentle on yourself
During times of transition and change, it’s really easy to make ourselves the target. We blame ourselves for being too emotional, not strong enough, not able to handle change or “get it together.” But the reality is, we are human. And change is tough. So, remember to treat yourself kindly. I like to think of myself as a child during these times. It helps me to remember that, just like everyone else, I am not unbreakable, I deserve compassion too. And this compassion helps me make it through the change with more pleasure.
Sleeping in and being gentle on myself for doing so 🙂
3. Change something physical
What I’ve noticed during big times of change and transition is that I have an inner stirring of feeling “different.” This is because I AM different. When things transform around us and inside us, we literally become a different person, filled with new experiences. So, what has been helpful to me is to change something physically on the outside to reflect this inner transformation. It’s a way of acknowledging what is. I recently got my hair cut to practice this, and it was so fun. I got it cut at a curly hair salon where I learned that I actually have BEAUTIFUL natural curls! Crazy!
Got my hair did! Who woulda known I had natural mermaid locks? 🙂
4. Try something new
As things in our lives change, it’s the perfect time to introduce more change. Why? Because we are already going through transition. So, while I’ve been in the midst of change, I decided to take a little Me Time and go get my nails done. But here’s the key: I didn’t choose my usual hot pink or bright colored polish! I chose something entirely different to match the mood I wanted to feel – pastel, calm, collected, different 🙂 It was another reminder that being brave in big ways can also be translated to being brave and having fun making different decisions, such as nail polish color.
Pastel toes and fingers! Something new to match my desire for a peaceful mood!
5. Connect to the Earth
Whenever I am in transition, I yearn to be connected to the Earth. While this may make sense to you, because being in nature just FEELS good, I actually have a more scientific reason why connecting to the Earth benefits us during times of change. The Earth gives off negative ions. Our human bodies, and the things around us, such as pollution, electricity and disease, contain positive ions. These positive ions create inflammation in our bodies, which has been shown to be a conduit for disease. So, simply placing our bare feet on the ground in a park, or walking along the beach, actually allows these negative ions to penetrate our bodies, decreasing our inflammation and making us feel more relaxed. (Learn more about this process called “Grounding” or “Earthing” here) Ahhh…so, no. It isn’t a coincidence that you crave the ocean, or a camping trip during times of stress. Nature is a natural healer. I’ve been dedicating more of my time to connecting with Pachamama (Mother Earth, as they say in Peru) since I quit my corporate job. How can you do the same?
Me connecting to the Earth in a park in San Francisco
6. Steer clear from other people’s fears
Anytime you are making a big change, those around you are going to be triggered by their own fear of failure. Unfortunately, what that looks like is a lot of comments like: “Oh, well I knew someone who did that too and it didn’t work out” or “Just be prepared, it will be tough…maybe you should do this instead.” It is REALLY hard to listen to these comments and realize that the people making them really are coming from a place of love. When I quit my job, and told people that I was going to put my heart & soul 100% into my coaching business, many people made comments suggesting that not many people succeed who have already done the same. Heck, I hadn’t even been gone from my corporate job for a week and someone sent me a job posting for another corporate job! What?!! When these comments arise, the best thing you can do for yourself is to remember that these people mean well and their comments really are just THEIR own fears. You don’t have to buy into these fears…you can do this by:
a) remembering that this is YOUR path, you aren’t like anyone else who came before
b) consider what you ARE afraid of (it’s good to get those fears out!) and then
c) come up with reasons why these fears are probably completely unlikely and even if they are possible, remind yourself you can prevent them from being fulfilled.
Getting some reflection time in San Diego at the Self Realization Gardens
It can be super easy during big transition to punish yourself for taking a big leap. And when we punish ourselves, that can turn into a form of withholding the fulfillment of our own wants, needs and desires. After I quit my job, I started thinking of all the things I needed to do to deserve the luxurious things. If I wasn’t working hard enough in my business, I shouldn’t gift myself with the things that feel indulgent. Right? Wrong. Withholding what you desire only creates more punishment on top of your already tender emotions. Be kind to yourself and indulge a little (or a lot!) To practice this, I finally bought a yummy jar of all natural body balm that I’d been testing after yoga each day for 3 days straight. I kept telling myself I didn’t deserve it – it was too much. But finally I pushed that thought aside and reminded myself that I did deserve to indulge. And guess what? It felt sooooo good and helped spark that feeling of self worth inside me again!
All natural, yummy body balm – smells like rosemary & lavender (no chemicals!)
8. Take stock of the journey
During big change it’s easy to jump from one thing to the next and keep on truckin’ like nothing happened. When this occurs, it’s important to stop. Pause. Reflect. And take stock of the journey that led you to this point. After I quit my job, I was ready to move full steam ahead in my business. Thank goodness my own coach encouraged me to pull back the reigns and reflect on everything I had accomplished to get to the point where I could quit my job. Wow, what a concept! And it felt so good. Remembering that my goal was to quit my job (and that goal was set LESS than a year ago!), remembering I set a goal to lead a retreat in Bali and being in awe of the fact that I accomplished both of those things. Take stock of your own journey. Don’t pass up the opportunity to celebrate each step that has led you to today. Take out your journal and let ‘er rip!
Me in the San Francisco “panhandle” park taking stock of my journey this year
9. Connect in community
When things change, it’s easy to isolate. I’m really good at that. I tend to wait to be my full, peppy, energized, Jess-like self before entering back into the world of people. After quitting my job though, I deeply desired connection and community. So, even though I wasn’t feeling 100% me (heck, I’m not even sure I know who this new me is!), I ventured out and attended an event in San Francisco. And guess what? The event was called Flirt Camp! Crazy right?! It was full of awkward flirting, super scary intimate exercises, weird animalistic body movement – which I loved, by the way (led by my coach, Christina Morassi!), and even a cuddle puddle…yeah, look that one up. 😉 It was scary getting back out there. But I have to say that it felt good. And it reminded me that I am likable, I am fun and I can have a good time even when things are uncertain. How can you connect in community in a way that feels good to you?
My own coach, Christina Morassi, working her magic at Flirt Camp –
I loved being an animal!
10. Be touched
Look, human beings need touch. Period. I’m deeply saddened by the way our culture has made it not okay for us to hug each other closely, place a hand on top of another friends hand…and keep it there…and comfort each other through physical touch. Maybe I’m so passionate about this because my love language is physical touch (you can spoon me forever and I’d been on cloud 9 – as long as I could breathe!), but the fact of the matter is that human-to-human contact DOES provide healing. I just learned that a 30 second hug releases enough endorphins to last you the entire day – WOW! How amazing is that? So…during any type of transition, why not gift yourself with touch, whether that is asking for hugs from friends, cuddling with your sweetheart for longer than usual, or….one of my staple self care tools – get massaged! In San Francisco, I looked up mobile massage on yelp and hired a gal to come massage me. Then, a few days later in San Diego I got a massage at the Chopra Center’s La Costa Resort & Spa. Get touched, release endorphins and encourage faster emotional and physical healing in your body during times of change!
Spa day for my friend’s bachelorette party at Chopra Center’s La Costa Spa (gorgeous property!)
Which of these 10 Self Care tips is most helpful to you?
I would love to hear from you in the comments below! 🙂
To Your Radiance,
Want more Radiant Self Care tips? Here is my gift to you!!
3 Simple Self Love Rituals to Lift You From Burn-Out to Blissed-Out >>>