Safety is important.
As children, the presence of our parents is vital. Their nurturing is our only means of survival. So, it’s only natural that we come into this world wanting to be connected and trusting we will be taken care of.
What a beautiful thing!
Then, somewhere along the way, even after we no longer need our parents, we start confusing safety with survival. We begin believing that our only way of survival is to build a Great Wall of China-sized shield of skepticism, fear and rationalization (among other limiting beliefs) around our hearts.
When I was starting my business, here’s how it went with me…
Skepticism- Hmm…I don’t know. Will this whole Legit Love Revolution thing even matter? Will people care? I’m not so sure.
Fear – Oh goodness, what will people think of me. They will think I’m all woo-woo and they won’t take me seriously and then my image will be ruined and I’ll never have one client and then I won’t be able to pay my bills and I’ll be homeless and, and, and…
Rationalization – Okay, Jess, how about you do this. You just put up the website and share your thoughts but that’s it. It will be safe, realistic, and you know those “out there” thoughts you have? Just keep those mum so no one gets hurt, deal?
Breaking the cocoon
One of my favorite songs is India Arie’s “Break the Shell.”
I adore her in general, but this song really shares with us the beauty of experiencing life, reaching beyond our boundaries and leaving the illusion of safety behind so that we can fully experience joy.
Some of the lyrics are:
“Child it’s time, to break the shell.
Life’s gonna hurt but it’s meant to be felt.
You can not touch the sky, from inside yourself.
You can not fly.
Until you break the shell.”
You might be able to guess that there is another reason I love this song. It’s so symbolic of the journey a caterpillar goes to become a butterfly. Here’s Day 5 of the 12 Days of Legit Transformation:
What many people don’t realize is when the butterfly’s metamorphosis is complete, it doesn’t magically emerge, effortlessly melting away the cocoon that provided its safety.
It’s a struggle. A fight. Persistent determination.
It’s total trust, just like the intrinsic knowing we had as babies, the new butterfly knows it will be taken care of.
The butterfly has a choice.
It can stay huddled inside its cocoon. Afraid of its new body. Unsure if its wings will open. Terrified of what its caterpillar friends will think.
Or, it can emerge. Leave its safe cocoon behind. And vulnerably tell its skepticism, fear and rationalization to “suck it!”
When I first witnessed this process, I was so amazed that I filmed it. You can watch the video of one of my butterflies fighting to enter this world with its new wings here:
Fear to Freedom
For me, it has been a process to break through my shell.
My comfortable, normal, predictable life felt safe.
I was happy working my 9-5 in events and marketing.
Going to the gym.
Playing with my wiener dog Zeus.
Going to non-stop networking events.
Going to more events.
It was all so safe. I felt in control. Until I didn’t.
After my perfect storm, I knew something had to change. I had to mix it up. Shut my eyes. Take a leap.
My happiness depended on releasing my fear of the unknown so that I could step into my ultimate freedom: doing what I love.
Which, it’s no coincidence, what I love is sharing lessons from my own journey to Legit Love!
Let’s start a conversation!
How has feeling safe played a role in the decisions you’ve made in your life?
>>Leave your thoughts in the comments below
>>Share your insights using the hashtag #12DaysofLegitTransformation on your social media account
Are you ready to transform loneliness to love?
**Only 7 more days** to apply to join Legit Transformation LIVE – my in-person group program for women who are stressed out and ready for REAL mental, physical and spiritual transformation – on their own terms.
I’m SO excited to guide this group through an experience that will be life changing, bringing more love and happiness to each woman’s life through 6 weeks (Saturdays from 10:30 a.m. – 12:30 p.m.) of specific activities & discussions that I used for my own transformation.
Not only will you get your own live caterpillars to raise into butterflies, but I’ll help you decode the symbolism that the butterfly reflects for your own life’s purpose (there is no better truth than what nature provides!)
On top of that, you’ll get the support of an accountability partner as well as the entire group of phenomenal women. (yes, they will be phenomenal, which is why I only accept applications to make sure each woman is ready to experience BIG transformation).
Check out the Legit Transformation Live program page for more details & to apply today!
I’m only accepting 10 women into the program to keep the group intimate. Applications due April 12.