12 Days of Legit Transformation – Day 4: How to release expectations & allow happiness

I’ve always been a naturally idealistic optimist, believing that everything can be sunshine & butterflies if everyone would just open their eyes and look around at this beautiful place we call planet Earth.

Call it rose colored glasses.  Call it glass half full.  Whatever it is, for me, it’s the truth.

As a child, I spent my summers spinning around in the fresh cut grass, barefoot, singing “Look at the stuff, isn’t it neat? Wouldn’t you think my collection’s complete.  Wouldn’t you think I’m a girl, a girl who has…everything.”

For those of you who are oblivious to this song, it’s from The Little Mermaid.  It was my first tape 🙂

Looking back, I think my soul was trying to tell me something that I wasn’t aware of: it’s okay to want whatever you want, feel whatever you feel and do whatever you do, even if you think you already have everything you deserve.

From the outside, my “stuff” looked really “neat and complete” as the song lyrics said.  In other words, I looked like I had it all together.

Here’s Day 4 of the 12 Days of Legit Transformation quote & caterpillar fact…

12 days of transformation - day 4- http://JessTomlinson.com/12dt-day4

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In hindsight, I did.  I was a really, really happy child.  My parents were loving.  Both were wonderful guides and teachers. I always felt safe. And I had plenty of experiences of play and just being a kid. Even as a child, I knew I was lucky.

Because I knew how great my life was, I felt I had to show the world.  I didn’t have any other choice.  How could I, the girl who had everything, be sad about anything when life was so great?

I created an expectation for myself that eventually became the norm for other people: Jessica is a pleasant, happy girl.

While I’m still that optimistic, idealist at heart, I’ve shed the expectation to ALWAYS be happy. Because ultimately, once I could finally see clearly after my perfect storm hit, I realized, I didn’t have to be afraid of the darker side of my soul.

It was all part of me.  The happy and the unhappy. Neither are better. I can trust I will always bounce back to the radiance of happiness.  That is my natural state.  That is our natural state as humans.

But the important thing to find our way back to this joyful state is to allow – even when it feels safer to resist— the icky, ugly process that unhappiness can bring.  In that allowing comes acceptance, and flow and ease. And we move more rapidly through it because of our acceptance.

Just like the caterpillar, when we Legit Love ourselves through the process, no matter what we may “appear” to be going through on the outside, by accepting the inside process – messy, ugly, icky, violent, horrible, dark, dirty, scary – we transform into a more beautiful butterfly on the other side.

Let’s start a conversation!

What expectations have you or others had of you? How have you dealt with them?

>>Leave your thoughts in the comments below
>>Share your insights using the hashtag #12DaysofLegitTransformation on your social media account

Are you ready to transform loneliness to love?

**Only 8 more days** to apply to join Legit Transformation LIVE – my in-person group program for women who are stressed out and ready for REAL mental, physical and spiritual transformation – on their own terms.

Legit Transformation Live - http://JessTomlinson.com/legittransformationlive

I’m SO excited to guide this group through an experience that will be life changing, bringing more love and happiness to each woman’s life through 6 weeks (Saturdays from 10:30 a.m. – 12:30 p.m.) of specific activities & discussions that I used for my own transformation.

Not only will you get your own live caterpillars to raise into butterflies, but I’ll help you decode the symbolism that the butterfly reflects for your own life’s purpose (there is no better truth than what nature provides!)

On top of that, you’ll get the support of an accountability partner as well as the entire group of phenomenal women. (yes, they will be phenomenal, which is why I only accept applications to make sure each woman is ready to experience BIG transformation).

Check out the Legit Transformation Live program page for more details & to apply today!
I’m only accepting 10 women into the program to keep the group intimate. Applications due April 12. 

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