3 Powerful Ways to Heal Heartbreak

I have something really powerful to share with you today.

It’s something that I believe will inspire you to not only change your perspective about heartbreak, but will allow you to open to love like you never have before if you take my lessons and apply them to your own life.

Here’s the story…


This past weekend I was in the San Francisco Bay Area for a conference learning how to become a better coach and woman so that I can continue to support you in becoming the woman you desire to be.

But the truth is…as I sat in the audience the first day, I felt completely unloveable, sad, fearful that I’ll never be that woman who I want to be. I was missing being in a relationship. Missing the feeling of divine love from a man. Missing the excitement that I usually feel about life. And reflecting on previous heartbreak.

Maybe you’re going through something similar right now…and I want you to know that you’re not alone.

We all go through these periods of transformation. Times that are just. So. Lonely.

lonely woman heal from heartbreak

At one point during the end of that first day of the conference, they brought a group of people onstage to be recognized. I looked at their smiling, happy, glowing faces and  began to cry because, well, I couldn’t find that in myself.

So…guess what happened?

Before I knew it, I was being brought on stage by the leader of this conference, to work through what was going on in my heart…and what the tears were really representing.

There I was, in front of at least 100 people. Tears streaming down my face. Not sure what was going to happen next.

Now…to paint the picture a little more – this program that I am in isn’t for the faint of heart. So, I knew that me standing on stage was GOING to be life-changing. There was no question. And, I also knew the way that the leader was going to guide me there was going to be nothing less than something that anyone from the outside would think was totally weird and maybe even crazy.

But I trusted. Trusted that I needed the support. And I was willing to go to extremes to break through the pain, fear and loneliness I was feeling in my heart so that I could return to LOVE.

return to love and heal from heartache

Before I knew it, the leader had all the men standing in the front row. And he encouraged me to do something completely terrifying…yell at them, with every ounce of frustration that I had ever had for any man. (Note: I’m not encouraging you to go out and yell at men. These men were prepared for this exercise and knew that it wasn’t about them, it was about my healing.)

It ripped through me….those intense feelings and words. My body was trembling.

I was so terrified of hurting these men in front of me…but at the same time, there was this huge sense of release and relief at the sound of every horrific word that blasted out of my mouth.

I could feel myself getting lighter as the anger began to let go…

Then, the leader had all the women come on stage (most of the room).

They all put their hands on me, filling me with love and support. A sea of sisterhood. Our hearts connected. Reminding me that we are never alone…if we ask for the support.

women support heal from heartbreak

Next, the leader had the men come on stage and stand behind me. They put their hands on me and as they did I could feel their masculine power, so much so that I thought they would push me off the stage.

But what was interesting is the more that I resisted their power and was scared that they would push me off stage, the harder they seemed to push. With the leader’s encouragement, I relaxed into their support. They even held my head, allowing me to fully be supported in their strong arms. I was still standing on my own two feet, but the feeling of the men behind me was so steadying.

It allowed me to feel free inside their strength.

At this point, there were still tears streaming down my face. An endless flow of emotions that needed to be released.

The leader had me turn around and allow myself to be seen by the men. My heart. My tenderness. My messy truth. I took a few seconds, gazing into each man’s eyes behind my mascara-stained face, and I saw the love of each man who I’ve ever adored. But most of all, I saw my capacity to love reflected back to me in their pools of blue, brown, gray and turquoise.

While this powerful experience still settles into my being, there are 3 things that were very clear in helping to heal my heart and can also help to heal yours…

3 Powerful Ways to Heal Heartbreak - JessTomlinson.com Relationship coach

3 Powerful Ways to Heal Heartbreak

  1. Feel the anger. It’s important to continue moving through the anger, rage and grief…even a year, or years after heartbreak. Ironically, when you do this, your heart will be able to move forward and become open to even deeper love and tenderness than before.

Start here: Write an angry letter that you will never send. Don’t worry about being “PC” or spiritual or nice. Let it rip, in the ugliest way.

2. Be in sisterhood. The support of women is vital lifeblood for your feminine to feel nourished and not alone. Together, we are better.

Start here: Gather with groups of only women. This can be in your living room or a safe public place. Allow each woman to talk without being judged or interrupted. Sometimes we just need to be in the presence of other women and be heard and loved.

3. Receive masculine support. If you resist the support of a man, you will fall off the edge. But if you surrender, his strength will hold you.

Start here: Begin by practicing receiving the help of men. Allow the man in front of you to hold the door. Ask the man on the airplane to help grab your luggage from the overhead compartment. Start small and allow yourself to do nothing – simply receive.


While you may never have as intense of an experience as I did, to move through heartbreak and return to love, my deepest wish is that you take my diamonds, the hidden gems from my experience and apply them to your own heartbreak, so that you too may release the pain, fill up on the support of women and men and recognize your own capacity to love and be loved.


Now, it’s your turn…

Which of the 3 Powerful Ways to Heal Heartbreak resonated with you the most? Feel the anger, be in sisterhood or receive masculine support?

Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below 🙂 …

To Your Radiance,

jess e-sig


Want to heal your heart and go From Lonely to Love?

Take this free quiz to learn your Feminine Power Archetype so that you can effortlessly attract a man who is right for you: Click here to take the quiz now!

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