I used to think that language and our choices of words weren’t a big deal. Until I started on my own Radiant Self Care journey and realized how much I subscribed to the definitions of particular words and their perceived meaning by society. And worse, how I developed my own behaviors according to those definitions, oftentimes leading me to ignore my needs, feel bad about my choices or deny my own worthiness to feel Bliss.
If you want to incorporate the feeling of Bliss in your everyday life, there are a few words in particular to be aware of. This isn’t about creating “fear” about these words, it’s simply about awareness. You get to choose how you subscribe to the definition of these words, their frequency in your vocabulary, and even if you choose to banish them in order to up level your Bliss (which I highly suggest doing!)
Now…on to the seven words that I’ve reframed, banished and instead chosen my own more empowering way to think about them in order to create Bliss in my own life…
7 Words to Banish if You Want to Feel Bliss:
It’s such an alluring word, right? It sounds all, even and stuff. Like that beautiful thing that happens when two acrobats are maintaining their own weight on the opposite end of a plank board. Until one of them jumps off. Basically, Balance is Bullshit. It’s not possible. Like physically not possible – not just because our lives are in constant flux – but if I get all geeky sciency on you…particles are always in motion. So, get off the Balance Bandwagon, take a deep breath and remember that what’s more important than balance is the FEELING of balance. Ahh, that feeling is Blissful, right? So, which part of your life is lighting you up now? Go focus on that. And I promise you, the other parts of your life will be A-okay.
2. Guilty pleasure.
Ahhhhh….this one really gets me! Please, please, please….let’s stop using it, okay? I mean, what is so guilty about pleasure? Nada. If you are consciously making the decision to do something, and it feels good, you’re robbing yourself of Bliss by labeling it a guilty pleasure. What if next time you considered what you were doing Blissful instead of a guilty pleasure? When eating a delicious dessert. When reading that “trashy” magazine. How about you just release the guilt about it and realize that you like what you like…and that’s totally cool. In fact, THAT is Bliss.
The perfect man. The perfect body. The perfect finishing touches on your project. The problem with perfection isn’t actually you striving to be your best…it’s that usually your best is someone else’s version of perfect. And just this fact alone is enough to say screw perfect, do YOUR best (or just do good enough for the current mood you’re in, day you’re dealing with, etc.) and complete it…with love, of course 🙂 Enjoy what is right there in front of you. It is already perfect, and accepting that fact is Blissful in itself.
I love something that Danielle LaPorte said in one of her books “Everything that is on your plate is there because you said yes to it.” And thus, “busy” is of your own doing, darlin. And yet, we continue to obsess over it, glorify it even, or wallow in our own despair at the fact that we are so-freakin-busy. Truth: You created the busy, now you can un-create it. Say no to more of the things that don’t feel like a “hell yes!” And for goodness sakes ladies, when someone asks you how you are…refrain from saying “I’m so busy!” (it takes all of us to get out of this mindset that we even have to be busy in the first place). Owning that you are doing the things that are on your plate because some part of you actually wants to do them can feel empowering. Do what you want. Ditch what you don’t want to do. That is Bliss.
What if we all just stopped trying and started committing to what we are doing? When I hear women say “I’ll try,” it breaks my heart. What we are really saying when we use this phrase is, “I don’t believe in myself enough to choose what happens in my life” or “I secretly don’t want to do it, so instead I’ll just say that I will do my best.” This is not a Blissful way to live. It’s a false acceptance that we aren’t powerful, self-fulfilling beings. When you commit to what you want, then just go after it assuming that it’s already yours (even if you don’t receive it in the end) it’s a much more Blissful way to live. You are living like you deserve all your heart desires…and you DO!
“That’s SO expensive!!!!” Do you tend to freak out about prices? One thing that has dramatically shifted my ability to receive and feel Bliss is to ditch the words expensive and cheap. Why? Because if we consider something expensive we are automatically making it wrong. Would you like more money? Would you like to be able to afford that thing you just called expensive? Either way, it’s much more empowering to say, “That item is more than what I’m wiling to pay.” Plus, Bliss is being able to enjoy the value and experience of something without getting obsessed over the cost. I remember going to a high-end spa for the first time and the massage was three times what I was used to paying. Sure, seeing that number sent my body into shock, and the actual massage was maybe just a little better than my usual massage, but it was the EXPERIENCE I was paying for. And it was so worth it afterwards!
Maybe you are longing to take a big trip to Bali or to renew your wardrobe with clothes that enhance your Bliss. Are you willing to tell yourself you are worth it and pay for Bliss? This could even come down to reminding yourself that you deserve a $25 pedicure! (heck, I just had to convince myself I deserved one the other day!) And sometimes, we do the opposite. We throw away our money on things that we think are a great deal or cheap just because we consider them foolish to pass up.
Make conscious choices about how you are investing your money, what the payoff is, how it will enhance your life with Bliss and watch how great it feels!
This is a biggie. Our culture has really screwed up on the word Selfish. If we really examine it closely, it isn’t how the dictionary defines it. “Self” – you. “ish” – being of or like. So Selfish actually means being of the self. And ladies, there is NOTHING wrong with being about yourself. In fact, those who love you most want you to be happy. Ignoring your desires is a lethal pathway to ignoring your Bliss. I love the mystic OSHO’s definition of Selfish and why it’s important to be so, as he explains in this video. So, let’s drop using this word altogether, or even embracing it and changing the conversation. You matter. Being about yourself first is important. How else are you going to fill your cup up with Bliss so that you can share the well of water with those you love?
Alright, love! I can’t wait to see how reframing, redefining and even removing these words from your vocabulary will up level your ability to experience Bliss in your own life!
Now it’s your turn…
Which of these words are you committing to reframe or banish from your own vocabulary?
Share with me in the comments below…I can’t wait to hear! 🙂
To Your Radiance,
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