“I just don’t know what a man can add to my life.”
This was a comment made by a woman at one of my recent From Lonely to Love workshops that I held in Las Vegas.
At first thought, this may seem like a silly statement.
But the reality is, it shines a bright blazing light on the reality that a lot of women face when it comes to dating and relationships: they are independent, financially stable women with great jobs and a rich social life….
So…what can a man add to that?
One predicament when it comes to modern day dating is that we aren’t in partnership for the same reasons we used to be – children, security, safety.
We no longer need men to survive.
And, we don’t even need men to raise a family (although it sure is a lot easier with them).
Some women may argue that we don’t even need men at all anymore.
This is horrifying for me to hear, because, as I’ve experienced in my own life, my male partners have enriched my life in ways that I never would have been able to on my own.
Sure, I don’t need them to pay my bills, protect me from the “dangers” of the world or knock me up for fear that I’d become an old maid living on my parents’ homestead for the rest of my life.
But there is an innate craving that I have – and that all women really have if they are honest with themselves – to be emotionally supported by a man.
The modern day element that a man can add to your life is:
And guess what ladies? When you discover just how brilliant men are at providing us with emotional support, you will go bananas for it.
We may not need men…but it serves us well to want them.
So, for the modern day career woman….she actually needs to stop questioning what a man can add to her life, and instead begin getting clear on how she wants to FEEL in a relationship.
Being emotionally supported by men all comes down to a feeling. This is what we are longing for.
Because deep, deep down, we have a longing to feel loved, and the way we desire to FEEL loved in relationship is unique just to us.
Here’s what we really need to be asking ourselves:
How do I want to FEEL in relationship and love?
How do I want to FEEL with a man?
Hint: We’re digging deep here. If your answer is “good” or “happy” – that ain’t the truth.
When I began to get clear on my desired feelings for love and relationship, it allowed me to pay attention to my response to men. And furthermore, to actually receive the emotional support they were willing to provide.
I remember one specific moment, when first meeting a previous partner…
He looked deeply into my eyes and listened intently to my every word.
I swear a meteor could have hit the earth and his presence wouldn’t have wavered.
I felt seen. Like he could see my soul.
I felt adored. Ah, yes, ADORED.
Adored. This is one of my most important desires for how I want to FEEL in love.
And girl, trust me…while I can adore myself all day with positive affirmations, candle-lit baths and downward dogs…there is simply nothing like being adored by a man who sees my soul.
Now it’s your turn…
Share with me your answer to this question in the comments below 🙂
What is one way you desire to feel in love and relationship?
To Your Radiance,
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