Heartbreak. Pivotal moments. 2016 crisp, clean, pure possibility.

There are pivotal moments in our lives that transform our very being and set us on a new path.

Last year on this very day, New Year’s Eve, was one of those days for me.

I met a guy. A very special guy who just so happened to be attending the same gong meditation that I was at.

I went because I didn’t have to get dressed, or wear a bra, or wear make-up 🙂

He saw the light in me. I felt SEEN.

We fell fast in love and danced the long-distance dance with butterflies of excitement in our tummies – him from San Francisco, me from Vegas – and with possibility in our souls. 

Connection.
Play.
Tenderness.
Desire.
Adventure.
Truth.

I felt all of these things with him.

For the FIRST time in a relationship, I felt 100% me.

Things moved fast, and soon there was talk of me moving to San Francisco.

At first I was hesitant, but it just felt so darn right.

It was like I’d been given the green light from God.

“Jess, helloooooo, I’ve given you everything you’ve been asking for. A beautiful, loving partnership, a successful business helping women…now it’s up to you. Quit your job.”

I’d been wanting to do it for a while – quit my corporate job – but the timing never felt right.

It’s as if meeting this man and falling in love helped me feel safe. Sometimes I hate to admit this. I tell myself, “You SHOULD have been able to quit on your own, you didn’t need a man.”

I could have quit on my own.  But my desire was to feel supported, not financially, but emotionally. If I had a tough day figuring this whole entrepreneur thing out, I wanted to fall into the arms of the man I loved. It felt safe. Comforting. It was Radiant Self Care.

So I did it.
I quit my corporate job.
And then, a week later, my relationship ended.

My heart was crushed.

It felt as if the contract I had made with the Universe was blown to smithereens.
As if the cosmos were cracking up, playing a cruel joke on me.

I felt betrayed by my own intuition.
Did I do the “right” thing?

As I reflect on the past 5 months of 2015, I’ve struggled to make sense of it all.

How the perfect relationship could come to a sudden stop.
How my heart could be so confused.

And although it’s been terribly tough, the beauty in it all comes back to the magic of this day last year. 

The openness that I felt to love.

The possibility that was so crisp, clean & pure…laid out before my eyes, waiting for me in 2015.

choose to open heart

I had no idea what 2015 would bring, and it’s quite miraculous to remember that is all started a year ago today.

I want this for all of us in 2016 – crisp, clean, pure possibility.

I’m choosing to open my heart once again, this time even wider than before…

Will you open your heart with me?

Sometimes things happen – or people enter our lives – to help set us on the path that we were destined to follow. Without them, we may have been lost in the bushes for just a tad longer. Struggling to find our way.

Never underestimate the impact you have on another human being.

The guidance from each other – whether that is an inspiring word, the love you share, the encouragement you provide, the honest blazing truth or an act of kindness – will lead us to where we are meant to be.

Here’s to a Radiant, open-hearted New Year,

jess e-sig

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What are you choosing in 2016?

I would love to hear in the comments below! 🙂

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