Peru Legit Life Lesson 10: Go into the dark to see the light

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”

~Marianne Williamson in A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of ‘A Course in Miracles’

I love this quote.  It seems to be a theme, a liberation cry for all people who have ever denied their dark or their light.

If you’re like me, this quote keeps popping up, as all things do when we need to hear them.

Not only have I read it myself, in Marianne’s book A Return to Love, as I devoured the pages a year ago, but I’ve been reading it in blogs, hearing people quote it at inspirational talks, and just this past Sunday, a woman spoke it as the first few lines to her powerful truth-telling performance at the show Artistpreneurs on Stage produced by my friend Christina Dunbar in Los Angeles.

So far, my Peru blogs have been all about the light.  What I discovered within myself during my time there was freedom, a lightness of spirit, the feminine flow of gentleness and ease.

What I haven’t mentioned is there was a lot of darkness to experience that.

Go into the dark to see the light. Face it.  Look at her.  She is you. She is all of you.  Only then can we recognize the fierce glow we possess.  For without the dark, there would be no light.

The Eternal Optimist

I was an exceptionally happy child. I can’t recall a memory where I felt sad for longer than a day, and usually, that sadness was the result of being in my room as my punishment for talking back or misbehaving.

My piano teacher called me “a ray of sunshine.” I resonated with this.  I knew it to be true. I was an unapologetic optimist.

My optimism has carried with me throughout my adult life.  Prompting people to say things like I should be more “realistic.” Consider all the other things that could happen.  “Might” occur.

Pish posh.

My Depression

In 2012, my optimism came to a shattering halt.

After working for an entire year producing a women’s retreat, tirelessly putting in hours until 1 a.m. each morning, everything fell to pieces.

I saw my darkness.

That one year of work – the push, push, push, to get it done – covered me like the coating of 1,000 raw eggs.  It was sticky, thick, and reeked of failure.

I went into the dark.

Spending my time on the couch. Submerging myself in 50 Shades of Grey. Drinking bottles of wine. Anything I could do to avoid the darkness of this business I had lost. Eventually, slowly, with the support of the women’s group I lead, I eased my way back out.

Through the darkness in Peru

It wasn’t until Peru that I was gifted with the opportunity to see the dark again.

At first I didn’t see this as an opportunity.  To experience this sacred, ancient ritual, I was going to have to participate in a medicinal plant medicine journey.

set your light free to shine

The Ayahuasca Temple in Peru

 

I was terrified.  Down the rabbit hole I was going again, except this time, it was my choice.

I’m sure I will share details about my experience down the road.  At this time, what is present to me is the gift that we gift ourselves when we confront our darkness, which many times appears as the result of failure.

When I didn’t get any enrollment for my 6 week, in person group women’s program Legit Transformation LIVE which was supposed to start a few weeks ago, I had to go inside this pain again.

Light inside the darkness

It’s becoming familiar. Almost sweet, as I’m discovering that the quicker I go to the source of the pain, feel it, nurture myself through it with unconditional self-love, spa days, playfully cooked nourishing food and friends who believe in me, the quicker I move through the darkness to the light.

Your darkness is beautiful. Acknowledge it, then you will set your light free to shine.

Have you experienced your dark side? 

I’d love to hear from you in the comments section below…just login to Facebook so the comment box shows up, then leave your thoughts.  Easy breezy! Let’s start a conversation!

Legit Loving you,
Jess

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Check out the other 19 Legit Life Lessons I learned in Peru

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