The self care lesson that cost me $8,000

“Yes! OMG, of course I’ll be a leader,” I squealed.

This was my immediate response as I was having a delicious Skype call with my new soul-sister.

I was interested in going on a transformational retreat to New Zealand that she was co-organizing, and, as oftentimes happens with me, she saw my leadership potential and asked if I’d like to be one of the group leaders on the trip.

“Duh…..I mean, of COURSE I’d like to lead! Such an honor!” I was thinking, at the time.

The benefits of leading included receiving half off the trip – which would mean I’d get a super sweet discount – $4,000 instead of $8,000. Wow!

But something happened…

In that moment when I screamed my immediate “yes,” I paused.
I felt a tension in my tummy.
A whisper that something was “off.”

I am frequently the leader.
I rarely turn down an opportunity to lead.

But…was this the deepest reason I wanted to go on this amazing journey to New Zealand?

I was already leading my own retreat to Bali, The Radiance Recharge.

But when the offer to receive a huge discount on the trip was proposed, it was really tempting to ignore the reason why I truly desired this journey to New Zealand.

I mean, how many times do we do something simply because there is a “great” deal staring us in the face?

I know for me, I tend to do this with clothing especially…omg, this shirt is only $7? (Yes, I love to get a good clothing bargain!) Then, just because it’s low-cost, I snatch it up, only to realize that I didn’t actually love the shirt that much at all.

So, when I considered the true reason I desired to go to New Zealand, this was it:

To travel to a beautiful location, experience the magic of New Zealand, be around other do-good entrepreneurs, live with the Waitaha tribe (ummm…yes, this is happening!) and most of all…be fully present as a participant to my own transformation.

new Zealand self care sunglasses

That tension in my tummy? It signaled that something was off. And what it ended up being was that if I said yes to being a leader, to receiving the gracious discount, I wouldn’t fully experience the trip in the way that I longed to.

So guess what? I said no to being a leader, and instead, I said “yes” to ME!

Wow….this is truly a huge deal for me and I can’t wait to be a participant in this New Zealand retreat – I’ll pretty much be gone the entire month of November!!!

So often we can worry that we will be ungrateful, rude, disrespectful, if we turn down an opportunity that is screaming “you are amazing!”

However, the reality is that when we take a stand for what we really, really need, want and desire, the person who you are declining actually respects your “no.”

At the end of the day no matter the investment, no matter the compliment that someone may throw your way, or the gift they may see in you…the most important thing is that you follow your true DESIRE.

This is Radiant Self Care.

Now, it’s your turn…

How are you choosing to say “no” to something that may seem bright and shiny in your life, take a stand for your true desire, and say “yes” to yourself?

Post your answer in the comments below 🙂 I can’t wait to hear!

To Your Radiance,

jess e-sig


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