After another amazing Sensory EXPLOSION event on Friday, you would think I’d be basking in the post-party after glow.
The truth is, I’m not.
The Post-Party Blues
I got home from the event at midnight, poured myself a glass of wine and soaked in an Epsom salt bath with lavender and sacred frankincense essential oils, munching on a hazelnut chocolate cookie from Trader Joe’s, wondering why the heck I felt so numb.
I had so much to celebrate.
A packed house of phenomenal people.
The support of 15 talented Las Vegas leaders.
We shared our EXPLOSIVE dreams.
Broke bread together.
Danced, sweat, screamed.
Lives were changed.
Intentions were set.
We watched the beautiful sunset.
Painted a collaborative masterpiece.
And so. Much. More.
After the wind calmed down, we were even able to do the Sacred Summer Ceremony I had planned for the very end of our evening: sending our intentions for Summer into the Universe by lighting a fire – literally!
Watching as several sky lanterns floated up, up, up, into the Las Vegas summer sky, trailing one another, carrying our most precious dreams, was a dream of mine that had come true.
So, why wasn’t I able to celebrate?
Nurture Thy Self
The next morning when I woke up, I was still feeling the same way, so I did what I’d tell any client of mine to do: cocoon and nurture yourself.
For me, this meant turning off my phone and being alone with my thoughts.
As much as I wanted validation of how amazing the event was – just a peek at Facebook or a phone call from a friend would do – I knew it was important for me to find it in myself to acknowledge the amazingness that had ensued.
I made my way to the spa, one of my favorite places to cocoon and be with my thoughts, spending the majority of my day lying out at the private pool, soaking up the liquid rays of happiness, hoping they would permeate my heart and reveal why I wasn’t able to celebrate.
Instead, I stared blankly at my reflection in the poolside bathroom, a few tears running down my face.
“What the heck is wrong with me?” I kept asking.
Then, I heard my wise woman voice bubble to the surface as I stared into what were either my bloodshot or sun-exposed eyes –
Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda
While my mind was leading me to believe I couldn’t celebrate because:
1) Less people had attended this event than the first one,
2) I was in the hole a few hundred dollars when I had made some money off the first event,
3) I made a silly comment about me being skinny and having good genes during the mindful eating experience when what I really wanted to communicate was it doesn’t matter what we look like, what matters is making food choices to nourish our bodies so we can feel amazing, then use that feeling as energy to do big things in the world, and
4) I got a note from an attendee that said she got “absolutely nothing out of the event”
…none of these seemed to be the real reason I couldn’t celebrate.
Transformation was the real reason.
Release the Feeling
See, here was the problem:
I had been comparing Friday’s event to the first event that happened back in March, long before Friday’s event had even happened.
I had been resisting what I knew to be true: nothing is certain and just like life, everything is constantly changing and growing, including me.
Of course this event didn’t feel the same as the last event! Although the name of the event was the same, it wasn’t the same. It had a new date, new attendees, new activities – a brand new purpose.
You might be wondering, what the heck does this have to do with me?
Well, here goes:
You know when you experience that feeling of amazing success? Maybe it was a big project you were working on that was a HUGE hit, or maybe a product or service that you put every ounce of your soul into that was instantly adopted by customers or clients – whatever it was, you felt AMAZING when it happened.
Then, you went back in, wanted more of that same feeling, created another successful project, product or service, and it was great, it was a hit just like the first time, but it didn’t feel the same.
Boom: You just got bitch slapped by Transformation 🙂
Allow Transformation of Your Feelings
Just like the caterpillar, we change, we grow. We’re constantly on a path of transformation. And that’s the beauty about transformation – it always appears differently in our lives.
Here’s the key, and what I’ve learned from my journey the past few days:
Set the intention that it – whatever “it” is – is going to be just as amazing as it was before, but release that memory of what amazing felt like. You change, so the feeling of amazing changes too.
Revel in that new feeling.
Now it’s your turn…
When was a time you had trouble celebrating? What did you do to move through the emotion?
I’d love to hear from you in the comments section below…just login to Facebook so the comment box shows up, then leave your thoughts. Easy breezy! Let’s start a conversation!
Legit Loving you,
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